So You Don’t Wanna Be a Rally Master?
By Dave Treen

 

What a wuss!

Oh, now you’re gonna pretend you didn’t see this and click on to the next page--so typical. You could be a rally master. It’s not like rally masters live on top of mountains growing white beards or fly around in spaceships. Rally masters are, unfortunately, commodities in short supply.

Is this the laying on of a guilt trip? Nah. You could be a rally master, like you could’ve been a doctor, but the latter issue is between you and your mother. In road rallying, people seem to have gotten the impression that they have to be ‘chosen’ or ‘special’ to write a rally. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unlike card games, where the convention is that all of the players get a chance to deal, most clubs don’t require people to write rallies. They usually hope for somebody to step up to the task. More frequently, they have the same people writing the rallies, and while they have fun, they get burned out after doing two or three events in a season.

To quote an ancient television commercial: “Try it, you’ll like it.” Being a rally master is like running a rally while knowing all of the answers. People will even like you.*

The thing that seems to put most people off from writing a rally is the trouble; the staring at a map until blood starts to ooze from one’s forehead. Then there’re the traps (if any), the checkpoints, the measurements, the calculations, the this and the that—Agh!

Not so fast Grasshopper, it’s not that hard. Really.

The first step in the whole process is deciding upon what kind of rally to do. Trap rallies, monte carlos (tours) and gimmick events are the main favorites.

Gimmicks, pooh-poohed upon by some, are about as free-style and stress free as rallies come. Some gimmick rallies can be challenging, such as fox-and-hares or are simply landmark hunts. Competitors invariably have great fun in them.

Monte carlos, the so-called “zero hero” events are a little more technical in that the course must be critically measured and the TSD calculations triple-checked. The route instructions use alpines or tulips (there is a difference), which are schematic drawings of street intersections. While there are no traps in a monte, a mistake by the competitor in either calculation or execution of an instruction is what separates the winners from the rest.

Trap rallies are the things that scare most neophyte rally masters. Technically, the NWRC Friday Nighter series falls under this category, but it isn’t unusual to have a trap-less event. Trap rallies are similar to monte carlos insofar as calculations and timing are concerned. A simple definition of a “trap” is the process whereby the rally master can make the competitor misinterpret a route instruction. Traps can be simple or hellish all depending upon the rally master’s disposition and conscience. In truth, there are some rally masters who’ll be in Purgatory a lo-o-ong time.

Once a route concept is in mind, check in with your club. There’s always a lot of experienced people who will help with the writing, organizing and ultimately, execution of the event. That’s what everybody’s there for. The club wants that rally to be successful, so everybody will have fun, competitors and organizers alike.

There are also, of course, the toys. Ah, yes, the toys. First and foremost is the standard PC computer (or Mac for you smug sorts). These days most computers have programs like Word and Excel that make writing rallies and doing calculations easy. There are also various makes of road measuring equipment that are so cool to futz with. Sure, some of that stuff is pricey, but that’s what the club is for. Somebody’s already got some of that equipment and is keen on using it. The list of goodies grows from there, but you get the general idea.

And that’s how it basically works! True, researching and writing a rally will take up the ol’ spare time, but then, so does mowing the lawn. On the other hand, some of your fellow club members probably wouldn’t mind helping you because they’re not crazy about doing yard work either.

Hopefully, I’ve put the job of rally master into a different light and, perhaps taken some of the dread out of it. If you can go grocery shopping, you can be a rally master. All it takes is a little organization, some help from your friends and you can end up with a fine road rally. Really!

Oh, yeah. Don’t forget the grocery list when you go out. If ya do, your mother’ll kill ya.


* My mother.

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